Enjoy Your Menopause!

January 25, 2009

Let’s Talk About Sex & Menopause

If you’ve been a reader of my blogs for awhile, you’ll know I’m NOT shy.  I believe it’s important to talk about the issues—no matter how controversial or sensitive they might be.

In an earlier post, my good friend Rosie a.k.a. BloggingBetty (on Twitter) asked me had I written anything about sex as it related to menopause.  Actually, I’ve written a couple of articles:  Middle Age & Intimacy and Not Tonight Honey, I’m All Dried Up.

Sex can be a serious issue when it comes to menopause.  Why?  The lining of your vagina becomes drier and thinner during the menopause. It makes less mucus (the fluid that keeps your vagina moist and healthy). This can cause dryness and itching. Because it is drier, your vagina is more at risk of becoming infected or inflamed, and the vaginal tissue is more likely to tear.

If your vagina is dry, you may find that sex is painful. The outside part of your sexual organs, called the vulva, may also become drier and thinner. These changes are caused by a drop in the levels of estrogen that your ovaries make.  If you’re in menopause and ever experienced bleeding after sex, it is probably due to a tear in the vaginal tissue.

This is a subject some women feel uncomfortable discussing with their husbands but I say if you want to continue to enjoy a healthy and happy sex life, you owe it to your partner to discuss your body changes and get him to work with you on making your intimacy enjoyable and painless.

So now let me ask you this:  Do you honestly think you can discuss vaginal dryness with your husband?  Will he be receptive and understanding


  1. I do discuss it with my husband. We have always had a healthy sex life even after 26 yrs:) This was not easy to do at first , but now we can talk openly, and I didn’t want him to think he was the problem. Although I must say we have found many ways to keep us both happy;) Communicating with him brought fun back into our sex lives. Once your man understands he will help with solutions lol!

    Comment by madc — January 25, 2009 @ 10:55 pm | Reply

  2. You said…”Once your man understands he will help with solutions lol!”

    That’s the key–helping your man UNDERSTAND what’s going on with your body. It would be the same it you were coping with his impotence. There are so many creative and unique ways to enjoy intimacy.

    Comment by Beverly Mahone — January 25, 2009 @ 11:04 pm | Reply

  3. I discuss everything with my husband, so this would be no different. We have discussed all the changes I’ve experienced through the years and though he may not know what the best advice for me may be, he always offers compassion and support.

    Comment by Karlyn — January 26, 2009 @ 12:28 am | Reply

  4. My husband and I absolutely discuss what’s going on with our bodies. It is critical to be able to communicate, otherwise one of us might continue something that has the potential to cause long-term damage. Vaginal dryness is NOT fun! Unchecked, it can really create problems other than pain. I concur – help your man UNDERSTAND.

    Comment by Debra Stokes — January 26, 2009 @ 1:10 am | Reply

    • What is the lubricant called….. If u don’t mind me asking? My name is Tina by the way I’m 36 and had a hysterectomy 2 years ago, it’s hard! I feel like dying because my husband in no longer happy with our sex life! I don’t know u but if u have any suggestions I’d really be gratfull. Thank you Tina.

      Comment by TB — June 19, 2009 @ 5:51 am | Reply

  5. I do. He brought me an internal lubricant that works really well.

    Comment by Lisa Marie Mercer — January 26, 2009 @ 1:16 am | Reply

  6. We talk–and laugh–about it! It takes a sense of humor to deal with some of these tricky parts of being a postmenopausal woman. Dryness can be painful to both parties, and there are solutions both medicinal (vaginal estrogen) and over the counter, such as lubricants designed just for this purpose. My husband is very understanding, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt me.

    Comment by Joyce Mason — January 26, 2009 @ 1:43 am | Reply

  7. Amen, communication is key and discussing the dryness issue is critical. Actually good lubricants can enhance… Now, let me heat this up a bit more Do you all feel sex is better or not during menapause due to depression, anxiety and other dramas? I know some folks who say they could actually separate from their hubbys and the sex would not be missed. Is it midlife boredom?

    Comment by blogcoach — January 26, 2009 @ 2:59 am | Reply

  8. I don’t have a problem discussing anything with Chuck. Regarding the issue of vaginal dryness..it was a little embarrassing to have to teach a seminar on menopause, vaginal dryness, etc. to a room full of coaches, personal trainers, and group fitness instructors, but humor got me (and them) throught it.

    It helps to adopt humor as a coping skill when you go through menopause. Laugh at yourself, and find answers.

    Vitamin E CREAM works well for vaginal dryness, particularly if you don’t like the yucky feeling of jelly running down your legs. I don’t care if there is a his and hers…KY is messy!

    Do you mind if I blog about this subject in my next post?

    Comment by Archer Pam — January 26, 2009 @ 5:58 pm | Reply

  9. Wonderful blog and article! I have gone through menopause. I feel we owe it to our husbands and our relationships to share with them so they don’t feel rejected, etc. My husband and I discuss everything, and I love doing that. I have dryness too and find I have to use something but it really helps.
    Some women are able to have the best sex ever during this time in their lives. That is something to strive for.
    If you have fears like we all have had, go to http://www.7menopausemyths.com and download a free ebook.

    Comment by Sheri Goddard — January 26, 2009 @ 9:00 pm | Reply

  10. […] In an earlier post, my good friend Rosie a.k.a. BloggingBetty (on Twitter) asked me had I written anything about sex as it related to menopause. Actually, I’ve written a couple of articles: …   Read more… […]

    Pingback by Monitored Natural Cycle + Recurrent Miscarriages | Recurrent Miscarriages-Miscarriages at 7 Months/ — January 26, 2009 @ 11:02 pm | Reply

  11. You said….”he always offers compassion and support.” That’s the way it should be. Hopefully, he’s also offering some “creativity” in the bedroom as well! 🙂

    Comment by Beverly Mahone — January 27, 2009 @ 1:23 am | Reply

  12. Pam,

    I think it’s a great idea for you to post about this subject. It needs to be discussed. We are mature women and it’s good to have a forum where we can be open and honest about the issues that affect us. My next post is going to be about sex toys—ooo-la-la!

    Comment by Beverly Mahone — January 27, 2009 @ 1:25 am | Reply

  13. I am 50 and menopause is
    running my life right now.
    Between the hot flashes,
    the mood swings,the weight gain
    and sex well…we laugh and talk
    but no one likes getting older and
    parents getting older.
    I think 50 Sucks!!!

    Comment by bj — April 19, 2009 @ 8:10 am | Reply

    • I hate myself right now…. Iwish I never had a hysterectomy ! I’d rather suffer with the pain then go through this!

      Comment by TB — June 19, 2009 @ 5:53 am | Reply

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